I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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