Please, let me fuck your mom
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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