ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
