i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
