he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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