It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
