Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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