3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can't put those talents on a resume
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize