haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
