I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
