Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
