honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
