She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
