Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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