bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
