Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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