Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Those nachos came to me in a dream
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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