Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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