4 words: hood of his car
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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