Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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