I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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