We got so high we made milksteak
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
