Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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