The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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