the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
