My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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