wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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