Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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