bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
