its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize