I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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