fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
