I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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