No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
