FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize