this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
