I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
