So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize