i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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