you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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