well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
