hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
