Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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