My brain says no but my pants say off.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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