your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
