so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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