Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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