We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
