your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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