i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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