Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
