I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
