Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
3 2 1 whiskey
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
