Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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