god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
