Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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