If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
