just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
